Why is singing so scary?

The number one emotion I encounter in myself and in clients is fear. Public speaking is one of the most common fears in the USA and it makes sense! Using our voices can be terrifying. 

Some folks will tell me, “oh yeah I sing in the car or in the shower, but I would never sing in front of anyone else! My voice is terrible!” And I respond to them, “I’m glad you’re using your voice how you can! Singing in the shower or car has huge health benefits, and must feel really good.”

But I’m curious about folks who are too fearful to share their voice with themselves – who are terrified of letting themselves be heard, or hearing their own voice. It makes me wonder where these fears stem from. Is it the fear of making a mistake? Failing? Or maybe the fear of looking silly? Is it the fear of embarrassment or a history of shame around the voice that prevents so many people from opening their mouths and making sound? 

As someone with years of vocal experience, I still get scared to use my voice. Most commonly, my fear stems from not wanting to be heard or being afraid that I’ll be ignored. Working with that fear is hard as hell! I have shed many tears on my guitar and on the keys of my piano, unable to open my mouth or hum because my voice just won’t come out. And it’s ok not to sing, too. 

My journey with the fear of being heard has taught me to be patient with myself. There will be days when my voice flows out effortlessly, when I can speak and sing with confidence. And there are days when my jaw feels sealed shut or I can’t make a sound. Honoring my needs and accepting the fluidity in this journey has been crucial. 

Whatever fears you may experience about your voice are likely very common. Yes, it’s important to know where these fears come from and to be brave as often as we can. AND it’s important to honor our needs, take breaks, and be patient. Your voice is always with you, even if it’s quiet or only in your head <3